All of My Regret
by Jayfeathergirl
Summary: “With this, I say good bye to who I've been." Luke made a promise, that he would change. He only wishes to prove himself, that he means what he says. If you love Luke, take a lot at this story and get inside his heart.


**This story is based on the Tales of the Abyss Anime - A One-Shot**

**I hope you like this story. I wanted to write about Luke's feelings. Let me know what you think, I really appreciate it!**

**Song Lyrics: These Small Hours by Rob Thomas**

**All of My Regret**

* * *

_Let it go,  
Let it roll right off your shoulder  
Don't you know  
The hardest part is over  
Let it in,  
Let your clarity define you  
In the end  
We will only just remember how it feels_

Our lives are made  
In these small hours  
These little wonders,  
These twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away,  
But these small hours,  
These small hours still remain

Luke

I couldn't shake the pain from my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about it. What I'd done. How naïve I'd been. How stupid. How thoughtless. Cutting my hair short had been a way to show my change.

"With this, I say good bye to who I've been."

I didn't want to be seen as the rude, careless, ignorant person I'd once been. Have you ever had that feeling, of wanting to prove yourself to someone? To show them that you'll change, that you won't repeat your mistakes? It's harder then anything for me to know inside I've changed, that I'm a different being, and making other people believe that. I know I deserve their anger. I'm done everything to deserve it. But I want them to know, I appreciate them. I care about them. I want them to know I'm a good person. I want them to _know _I want to change. That I _am_ going to change. I want them to know how sorry I am, and how much I want to make up for it. I think of Mieu. Who has chosen to follow me and call me his master. I've treated him harshly since the beginning. And all he's done is care about me, and follow me faithfully. And it really warms my heart, thinking of what great friends I have. Guy, I've known him for so long. When I heard him say.. "But my friend is that idiot," I could barely believe it. Even after what I had done, he cared. Even if I was just a replica of Asch. He wanted to follow me. I know what Tear said is true. It would take time to regain the trust I had lost. And I understand. It is my burden to bear. I'd made mistakes. Many. But I hope I could make it up somehow. I want to help people. I want to help my friends. I want to do whatever I can.

_Let it slide,  
Let your troubles fall behind you  
Let it shine  
Until you feel it all around you  
And I don't mind  
If it's me you need to turn to  
We'll get by,  
It's the heart that really matters in the end_

Our lives are made  
In these small hours  
These little wonders,  
These twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away,  
But these small hours,  
These small hours still remain

I turned away from the tree I had been resting against and made my way back to the place we'd been staying. As I neared the door I spotted them all inside, the seven of them, Anise, Ion, Guy, Tear, Jade, Natalia, and Meiu. I felt I didn't deserve their friendship. As much as I wanted to show them I had changed, it was so hard to face them. Even if they had forgiven me, it hurt to face them. Doubts filled my mind once more. I moved away and was about to close door when Mieu spotted me, and glided toward me. "Master Luke!" Mieu squeaked happily. I closed the door and turned to look at Mieu. Mieu took a look at me, and must have seen the sad look in my eyes. "What's wrong master?"

"Mieu.. I've been so mean to you.."

"I don't think your mean," said Mieu, "I think your really kind! I can see it, and I know your really a good person. If you weren't, then why did you save me before?"

I couldn't help but smile. _I don't deserve Mieu's kindness! _

"I want them to know I've changed. I'm not proud of what I've been."

Mieu looked at me, then plopped down on my shoulder. "I understand. I was exiled from my home for setting fire to the forest. I made a mistake. I want to prove I won't do it again. I'm glad I was able to join you, because I feel I can really help make a difference. I know, you, Master Luke, will show everyone how you feel. You'll always have my support, Master Luke!"

I smiled. "Thank you Mieu." I scratched Meiu's ears.

"See, master is a really caring person! He means everything he says. I think you were always nice! It's like Ion said! "Luke has always been kind. He just didn't know how to show it."

I blinked, there was tears in my eyes. Tears of grief for what I'd done, and that after everything, I still had friends. I heard a voice from behind me.

"What's wrong Luke?" Guy had come over to them, opening the door and coming to join them. "Why didn't you come in? Everyone was wondering why you didn't come." He noticed the tears before I could rub them away. "Are you still beating yourself up?"

"I can't believe I still have friends after everything I've done..what I've been."

"Luke," Guy said, and looked me directly in the eyes. "The fact you feel this way shows you're a good person, and it's why I follow you. If it's anyone's fault about what happened at Akzeriuth - I winced visibly at the mention of the Mining Town - "it's Van. He manipulated you."

"I should have seen through him."

"Luke," I turned to see Tear, closing the door behind her and coming to join us in the hallway. I felt my face go red, shame burning at my face. "Luke, there is no point wishing you could go back and change what happened. Sometimes we have to live with what's gone on, and move on. I don't blame you for what happened. I blame my brother.." Tear's voice became cold and hard at the mention of her brothers name. "You couldn't have known what he really was. But you've learned, and become a better person because of it. It may take time to fully regain the trust you've lost, but your proving yourself now more then ever. In fact, you haven't been your snappy self since it happened. It changed you."

I felt uncomfortable at all the praise. "I just wish that didn't have to happen before I changed.." I said softly.

"Tear is right Luke," said Guy kindly. "Learn from the past. And move forward."

Mieu gave an encouraging squeak.

"Your right." I smiled at the three of them.

"Thank you. I promise, I won't disappoint you. I made a vow. I've said goodbye to who I was. I am a different Luke now."

"You'll always be Luke," Guy laughed, "And you always were kind. But now, you've embraced it."

_All of my regret  
Will wash away some how  
But I can not forget  
The way I feel right now_

_In these small hours  
These little wonders  
These twists and turns of fate  
These twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away but these small hours  
These small hours, still remain,  
Still remain  
These little wonders  
These twists and turns of fate  
Time falls away  
But these small hours  
These little wonders still remain_

I felt a glow towards them, my friends. I remembered Ion's words. The others had begun to warm towards me a little, but I feared it would take time for them to really believe I changed. But I accepted it now.

"Why don't you join us?" Tear asked, gesturing inside the room. "They won't bite. And I think they really are seeing the difference in you Luke." She gave me an inviting smile.

I hesitated, then nodded.

Later that day, when it was evening and and the sun was drifting below the horizon, I went for a walk, Mieu following along after me. I stopped as we passed by a river, and saw my reflection, my new short red hair glistening in the twilight.

I've said goodbye to who I've been. Now I move forward. And never again will I make the same mistakes. I only hope I can make up for everything..

"Master," squeaked Mieu, playfully nudging him. "What are you thinking about?"

I smiled. I had started smiling a lot again. "Just that I'm glad I've been given a second chance."

_"All of my regret  
Will wash away some how  
But I can not forget  
The way I feel right now"_

_It's the heart that really matters in the end"_

_

* * *

_

_Thank you all so much for reading! I really do hope you liked it. It's a warm ending, as I felt so sad for Luke! He was so sad after what happened. I love his commitment afterwards to change. He suffers from self-doubt and lack of self-esteem, and I wanted to write a story with him realizing he has friends who care about him and that he's not a bad person._

_Don't you all want to give him a cuddle? I know when I was watching the anime I did! When he looked so sad I wanted to run up and hug him! And I know my friend Fang feels the same!_

_I chose this song because it is about the highest and lowest points of ones life. It is about things we've done that we cannot change in our lives. It is inspiring, and makes us see sense in life and see things clearly. Getting a new perspective in life. Letting our regrets wash away and changing. Which is very fitting for Luke Fon Fabre, don't you think? _


End file.
